Saturday, May 16, 2009

Deliberate Actions.

We are having a debate in our house about intent.

My middle daughter and I suffer from honesty. Those of you inflected with it know what I mean when I say we suffer. Now don't get me wrong, my personal honesty saved my sanity as a child of abuse. I knew who I was and who I am. . that being said I am sure most of the people who commit suicide are inflicted with this disease. I mostly use it to make others, not myself, uncomfortable. I love being a mirror. People are never honest with themselves about anything.

It is a burden, honesty. One of the biggest is deliberate actions. Those of us who never lie to ourselves are cursed in some ways. We know when we are being insincere, We know when we are using people. Other people can be mean by accident, but we can't everything we do is deliberate, examined and decided upon even in the split second. We are responsible for our actions.

How does a truth teller bridge the great divide that separates us from the "we did not mean to do it's"? I am married to one and we still get into that argument. I don't care if you meant to do it or not, it is done. Now deal.

Having dealt with this as a wife and mother for many years I have had it up to here (chin level) with this whole "not my fault 'cause I did not mean to do it" mentality. And yet our whole society lately has beseiged with a rash of large corporations coming to congress and lying to themselves and us by saying "we had no idea charging usurious rates and pocketing large amounts of cash would bite this whole country in the butt." Somehow the frustration makes me just a wee bit crazier.

No suprise there.

be joy filled.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

scarey bedtime stories economic themes

In literature there are plots a work generally follows. . .you know. . .man vs man, man vs nature, man vs himself. . .etc. I have come to realize the the economy also has certain themes. Funny enough generally the less fair the reimbursement rate for goods and services the better it is economically. I mean come on the less you have to spend vs the amount you can charge is what it's all about, right?

In the past an economic theme might have been man vs nature. "Taming" the wild has something to do with using nature for economic growth. Today's economy seems to have two themes. Fiction verses reality.

The majority of people are following the "Someday" theme. This would be man vs the supernatural . . .for somewhere in the universe exists the exact reality to render what one is doing now as productive. . .where as right now it is not, otherwise you would not be telling yourself the fictional "Someday" story. You would have moved onto the reality based "screw them before they can screw me" story line. This of course would be man vs man. . .in a few cases of wo/men with a bit conscience it is also man vs himself. . .but mostly man vs man

These economic story lines are repeated in every aspect of society. Every person already know the story line, believes it and is ready to act according to their scripted roles. Family, church and civilian aid communities all believe these stories. Either you are have not (totally your fault, we all know Amerika is the land of opportunity. . .if you can't make it here. . .you are so screwed) or you are a have (and you know every have not would knock you off your hill if they could, so of course it is kill or be killed the more poor there are, the richer you are win/win) . The haves get their asses kissed "oh please bestow upon us some of your glorious reflection in the form of money" and the have-nots get them kicked "get your butt in gear, if you worked really hard you would be someone already and you wouldn't need our help".

The funny part is each group thinks the others greed is the problem. The have's justify their belief that it is have-not's greed causing our economic woes by the idea of more than. . .there are more of "them" than me. They insist on raising minimum wage, I can't afford to pay to whole country and extra $ an hour. The have-not's, well do I need to point out that a 435% difference in pay can be viewed as greedy. That giving exec's a 6 and 7 figure bonus package when leaving a sinking company and the employees get locked out could be viewed as not so nice.

Trouble is the economic story lines are all doomed to failure. Any student in history knows this is true. Look at the last time so much was in the hands of so few. . .1929. . .carpet baggers in the late 1860's . . .keep in mind the average CEO can earn " as much in four hours as a full-time, full-year minimum wage worker". To study the end times of ancient Rome is to sadly see ourselves. Please doom us not to repeat it.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

just ducky

I had a great vacation for a couple of days this summer. A friend invited me to share the house she uses in the summer in Falmoth. It is one of those houses on a small lake. Every morning I was there I walked down and had coffee sitting on the dock. It had all the lake things, lily pads, dragon and damsel flys and ducks.

I noticed the ducks because they noticed me. It became apparent that this was a mother and her two offspring even though they were the same size. The mom turned her head sideways and looked me over several times over the next few days. I was talking to her so I suppose she had a good reason to view me with suspicion.

Anyway. Watched the ducks swim in this near idyllic setting musing that it must be great to be a duck of course I immediately remembered the honking long flight or dealing with winter outdoors. On second thought no thanks. But then it occured to me a thought that has nagged at me ever since.

EVERY DUCK LIVES THE SAME WAY. Not only every duck, but every insect, rabbit, mouse, monkey, fish. . .you get the idea. No speicies has a small portion living in lavish splendor and the rest varying down to squalor. Until humane humans. In fact the reality of squalor is a human invention. There are no ducklings living in squalor. There are no bear cubs that will have an advantage of nutrition, family, shelter and education over other cubs.

How did a home one of the basic necessities of life become an investment opportunity? Why is the cost of a home to the point of absurd. This has created generations of people who will never own their own home. The landlord is not creating a product or providing a service, he is culling his tenants paycheck. His investment grows and the tenant will never see anything from the rent. Again the only results of the trickle down is that all the people on the bottom get is pissed on.

the new indentured servants

We pay $125 a month. This money does nothing to pay down our debt which grows by over $300 a month. What is this debt? Well it started as a $16,000 student loan. But it has grown into over $56,000 monster. Yes we are at fault. But are we $40,000 at fault. AND IF we are $40,000 at fault how ethical is it to add 8% interest on a loan that has already increased 400%?!

Our loan is in the hands of William D Ford. We are in deferment where we pay something. I have called and begged the original lender (New York State Higher Ed Corp) and asked them to reduce the fees and interest they piled on. They said. . .no.

I have written to everyone I can think of and now I see student loan corps advertising on the TV luring kids into thinking this is easy money instead of heavy chains that can trap you and drag you down if you run into problems.

I would love to learn the percentage of people in trouble with student loan debt are from broken/abusive homes. People who feel they have no place to turn if they run into problems. It seems that these might go hand in hand.

People without student loan issues might think "big deal". . .it is a big deal. Student loan companies are now lending up to $40,000 a year x 4 yrs. . .160,000. . .x 4 (if they have troubles) $640,000. . .pretty good deal for the lenders. . .sucks for the rest of us.

Oh and don't forget you can NEVER discharge student loans. . .if you are crippled and on disablity. . .they will garnish part of that to pay off student loans. . .er I mean student aid.

Oh by the way. . .the loan is not mine. . .nor my children's. . .but we are directly affected by it. This country needs to come back to center. People do count and it is time the people who serve in Washington start reflecting us.

No more taxation without representation. I want people serving who own nothing and earn under $100,000 a year. . .I want at least half of Congress to come from people who earn the average American wage. This way I will be represented.